'Five-point-five' has become my favorite number. Prior to that, it was 'two', signifying the position I was given by the Dean of my pledge line shortly before becoming a full member of Beta Phi Pi Fraternity, Incorporated over twenty years ago. But as I mentioned, that has all changed, and as much as I love my Fraternity, this new 'favorite' holds a deeper significance in my life; one that goes beyond my t-shirt/jacket wearing days as an undergraduate on the campus of the University of Illinois.
'Five-point-five' represents the number of years it took to go from being a transfer student at SUNY Empire State College to completing my MFA studies at CCNY. While some might say that's a relatively short period of time, I would counter that besides obtaining two degrees and growing as an artist, I also put to rest a number of old ghosts that had followed me since my teenage years. While getting a college degree was always a personal goal, the 'how' and 'what' part of this odyssey was always in question. A situation from my past led me to having to pay out of pocket for my education. That same situation also altered my course of study. I've long known I liked writing stories, but certain "influences" once selfishly advised that "black people don't make money as writers." Whether that was true or not was irrelevant to me at the time, and some today would question whether that advice was sound or was given to purposely sway my attention into another direction. Regardless, I ignored my interests because of these influences. I was a decent student, but could have been better had I made my own choices. And since I was fitting the bill, I should have negated those influences and gone my own way. Unfortunately I didn't follow my heart and ended up dropping out of college.
My odyssey took me away from my beloved hometown, to three different cities in two different states where I eventually landed in New York. A job loss is what brought me to a major crossroad in my life and caused me to ask some difficult questions: do I continue along the same road of working in an industry that didn't fulfill my spiritual and emotional needs or should I venture down a new path - one of uncertainty and challenge, but the opportunity to realize some long-deferred dreams? With the encouragement of two very special people in my life, as well as a timely (and unexpected) bit of assistance from a former love, the year 2006 became a year of change. I went from being an outsider of my own true self to a participator in the fulfillment of it.
From the day all of this began I was a catalyst in my own personal renaissance, watching myself being rebuilt piece-by-piece. The 'skeleton' of my new self was complete in June of 2008 at the Jacob Javits Center in Manhattan when I walked across the stage as a college graduate. The 'flesh' began to attached itself a few months later and has gradually been added until five and a half years later the total embodiment of the 'new me' became ready to take on new challenges, successes and defeats, all in the name of my artistry. Next to the Grand City of Chicago, writing is what allows me to spread all the love my heart desires and represents the missing part of my life that has finally been realized. Because I have been blessed to find my passion, I will strive to not only become a better writer, but a better friend and companion to anyone who needs/wants me in their life. The influences who dominated my former aseptic life are gone. The dawn of a new day started four days ago when I completed my last class and brought an end to five-point-five years of restructuring, of the shedding of old skin, of relieving worn-out suitcases filled with rocks, so the load I carry along my personal Emmaus Road becomes lighter.
I needed a new life and it was time. Confucius once said: "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." I have chosen wisely. And because I have, the life I lead today has become something special. Something new.
Everybody needs a new life once in a while.
