Dave's Top Five Horror Films!

Since today is Halloween, I thought I'd have some fun and give you my top five favorite horror films of all time. First - some noticeable absences. THE EXORCIST? Love this film, but the idea of Satan inhabiting the body of a human being is more supernatural to me and less "organic horror". I prefer the classic match up between one good guy and one bad guy, both within the constraints of this world. THE SHINING? Classic! Masterpiece! Wonderful! One of my favorite films of all time! BUT this movie is a cinematic "all-you-can-eat" and to merely define it as horror would be a shame. A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET? The original is good, but by now the idea of a bad guy chasing teenagers was becoming old hat. FRIDAY THE 13TH? A clear Halloween rip off! And I've never been a Jason Voorhees fan. CANDYMAN? Hmmmm...interesting (especially since I was a UIC student when this was being filmed in Chicago). Maybe top 10 or 15, but definitely NOT top five! NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD? Like CANDYMAN, it narrowly missed this list.

So now that we've got that out of the way, I'm sure you'll disagree with a few of my choices, but take a look anyway. You might be surprised!

5. DIABOLIQUE

Scary 1955 French film with English subtitles. Black and white, which only adds to the creepiness. Great use of shadows and build-up of suspense.










4. PHANTASM

A cult classic directed by Don Coscarelli. Mike, Jody and Reggie go to battle against "The Tall Man", who steals corpses, puts "yellow blood" in them, crushes them down to dwarf-size and ships them to a hot, red planet and uses them as slaves. Make sense? No, but it's still a great film! And don't forget the "flying ball" that bores into people's heads!



3. PSYCHO

I am a Alfred Hitchcock nut! Psycho is just beautiful film making and story telling and served as a trendsetter for a score of horror films that came later. Perhaps what I love most about this movie is how the "spider" has set up a web to catch the "fly", but instead of waiting with the spider we instead follow the fly into the web. It was a very different way to tell a story. To this day I keep an eye out whenever I take a shower!

2. HALLOWEEN (1978)

It was VERY hard for me to put John Carpenter's cinematic masterpiece in second place. VERY hard. Michael Myers is the smoothest on-screen serial killer of all, with exception to one other person! (which I will reveal momentarily). Forget Jason, Freddy, Chucky and the rest. Mike is a bad boy! He always knows what angle to stand at to keep out of sight, when to turn up the speed and when the precise moment has arrived to step out the shadows and attack. There is no one better, except...

MY BOY DR. HANNIBAL LECTER!!!

1. THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS

I've read the books. I've seen the movies. Sorry Mike! Love you, buddy - but even YOU have to take a back seat to Hannibal. Dashing, debonaire, worldly, has a flair for the finer things in life, brilliant and absolutely (as Martin Lawrence would say) CRAAAAAAAAZY! DERANGED! My favorite lines from this movie come when Lector is challenging Clarice Starling to think about what Buffalo Bill is after when he kills.

HANNIBAL LECTER: First principles, Clarice. Simplicity. Read Marcus Aurelius. Of each particular thing ask: what is it in itself? What is its nature? What does he do, this man you seek?

CLARICE STARLING: He kills women...

HANNIBAL LECTER: No. That is incidental. What is the first and principal thing he does? What needs does he serve by killing?

CLARICE STARLING: Anger, um, social acceptance, and, huh, sexual frustrations, sir...

HANNIBAL LECTER: No! He covets. That is his nature. And how do we begin to covet, Clarice? Do we seek out things to covet? Make an effort to answer now.

CLARICE STARLING: No. We just...

HANNIBAL LECTER: No. We begin by coveting what we see every day. Don't you feel eyes moving over your body, Clarice? And don't your eyes seek out the things you want?

SEE THIS SCENE!!!

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And there you have it! My top five of all time. Do you agree? Disagree? Let me hear from you!

"Cuckoo's" Ghost! by David T. Boyd

Read this and see if you can tell me who it's about!

Peace,
Dave
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“Cuckoo’s” Ghost!
By David T. Boyd

Once upon a stormy night,
At home alone I shook with fright!
A nightmare plagued my weary head,
Whilst’ I had turned throughout my bed!
This Hallow’s Eve, my family gone,
To Fifty-Fifth and Avalon!
Grim thoughts abound that made me cringe,
The Cuckoo-Man might take revenge!

He knew the art of pay-to-play,
The haters called him “disengaged!”
Yet it is he, with haughty laugh,
Who’ll burn them all within his wrath!
The howling wind blew forth my door,
And spindly shadows crossed the floor!
All that’s sane has neared the fringe,
As Cuckoo-Man takes his revenge!

I shan’t forget the breaking news,
His home chock full of TV crews!
Hearts dropped deeper than a well,
Our lives are now a living hell!
And he smiled wide, his hair intact,
Said “told you all I smelled a rat!”
Yet it was clear through eyes that singe,
This Cuckoo-Man would have revenge!

I rose from bed, I could not sleep,
Despite warm milk and counting sheep!
Lightning flashed and thunder clapped,
A subtle chill crawled down my back!
To you, I say this much is clear,
‘tis not the darkness that I fear!
For what creates the slightest tinge,
Is Cuckoo-Man bent on revenge!

Monsters of the Midway ran,
‘Hyde’ went Jekyll near ’The Dan’!
Shockwaves bolted through the Loop,
‘Canary-ville’ had flown its coop!
Yes, he’s BACK, and might I add,
Chi-town’s gone stark raving mad!
All mankind shall soon unhinge,
If Cuckoo-Man enacts revenge!

Hark! I heard a sound nearby,
A ghostly thing flew ‘cross my eye!
I had sensed it coming close,
Time to leave before I’m toast!
Sickly fingers grabbed my hand,
“I’m no crook!” it said again!
Its grip was tight, it caused a twinge,
And so began Cuckoo’s revenge!

“Cuckoo! Cuckoo!” the Ghost just clucked,
And since I’m not a sitting duck!
I dashed in haste toward the yard,
But Cuckoo’s Ghost, it was not far!
I made a beeline down the block,
But I forgot my Ford was locked!
It was his name he must avenge,
The Cuckoo-Man wants his revenge!

It snatched me high up by my leg,
“LET ME GO!” I cried and begged!
I looked into its piercing eyes,
And knew I was about to die!
Without a word it took its due,
It made me wear the Cubby-Blue!
Lights out folks, this was the end,
The Cuckoo-Man had his revenge!

“NOT THE CUBS!” I shrieked and screamed,
Waking from this nasty dream!
The morning sun replaced the gray,
And I had lived to see the day!
But I shall wait for June the Third,
For that’s when Cuckoo’s voice is heard!
Will we be free or will we binge?
Will Cuckoo-Man… commence revenge?